Category: What’s new? (Page 5 of 6)

10 things no one told you about being a mother

June 9, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 43 Comments

Last weekend #BabyT’s daddy and I requested my MIL to take care of the little tyke and we sneaked out for dinner. The real reason was my husband wanted to buy some office wear. I decided to invite myself to the event. 🙂 I made real effort to dress up for this mundane task of buying crisp, white shirts & socks (bleh). I dug deep into my closet and yanked out a short dress which, wait for it, this is going to be Leg-En-Dary – did not open from the front. No baby in tow, no breasts need freedom. Hurray!! Small joys. These are the things no one told you about being a mother. Why, kind pregnant people, who went before me, didn’t you tell me I will never wear a simple dress with no buttons, zips or loose fits in the front? Why will I spend the first year or more of my life as a new mother in loose fitting T-shirts or ugly looking maternity gowns with frills & flares & just ugh.

But the dress is not all there is to it. There are many things no one told you about being a mother. So here I present to you, the other side of being a mother.

You will never wear a dress – You will never wear a dress which is closed from the front and doesn’t release your breasts with minimum effort. Breastfeeding is not easy. But when you want to stick it out for the bare minimum and then want to continue with extended breastfeeding, remember you will never wear any outfit where it is a task to feed baby. As it is, fashionable maternity and breastfeeding friendly dresses are a rarity.
So it has been 18 months of wearing nothing but loose T-shirts for me. Shopping for me means buying yet another T-shirt, maybe in a new colour.
When the cold shoulder trend hit the catwalks and the high street stores I could do nothing but cry. They are so gorgeous. I so wanted to try one, but no – breasts did not come out. So all I could do was sulk. Until a dear friend decided to design some beautiful nursing friendly dresses just for me. 🙂
Going out to dinner – We were very particular that babyT develop a good sleep routine. So right from the time he was born till he was about 1 year old he was put to bed latest by 8 pm. His bed time was a religiously followed routine of warm sponging, baby lotion massage, diaper change, story and nursing to sleep. He then slept only to wake up hourly or so to nurse in the early days. This meant we never went out anywhere in the evenings. Even if we were out we would be back home by 5. The first time I was out after the sun had set (somewhere around when babyT was 11 months) I felt a new sense of joy of seeing the twilight skies. It was surreal. I am sure this is one of the things no one told you about being a mother.
Enjoying a leisurely meal – All meals are gulped down these days. Irrespective of whether babyT is awake, sleeping or with someone else. Adult meal times seem like a chore which must be completed rather than savoured. This is because there are usually ten things lined up to do and eating is the least of the indulgences I would like to spend time on. Oh and beverages are always had only cold. 🙂
Bathrooming in peace – Just this week, Facebook Memories threw this post from last year up for me to see.
So yes ever since I have been managing babyT on my own to this day, going to restroom in peace has been a forgone conclusion. I really don’t know what it is with babies but the moment their moms enter the bathroom they get so insecure and will bang endlessly on the door until she is out.
Doing laundry all the time – Morning or night, rain or shine I am forever doing laundry. There is a lot of adult clothes, baby clothes, cloth diapers and other clothes. Sometimes these 4 loads run on a single day. There is also separate detergent for babies, hot water for cloth diapers and an extra spin cycle in the monsoon. You can hear me tell my laundry tales here.
Doing anything on time – be it a wedding or a party or a Doctor’s appointment or just plain simple watching the 9 pm serial. You will never make it to any of these on time ever. Because getting a baby or worse a toddler dressed and ready to go is a task which you will never accomplish with even the most precise of plans. And even if you do everything right, just as you are about to step out the door – baby is going to poop or puke and you are back at Start.
You will be surprised how you remember all the nursery rhymes from your own childhood with actions – This was a huge surprise to me. With no babies and small children around in my immediate environment in the last decade or so, I felt I may be at a loss to remember the nursery rhymes. But when babyT needed entertainment I don’t know from where they erupted.. Incy Wincy spider with all the steps and Do Re Mi too. I did not even know that Do Re Mi had steps.
You can kiss goodbye to clean anything: house, car and yourself too – You have a baby. You don’t clean up often. Maybe only once the baby is asleep. Yourself included. My record for number of days without a bath stands at 3 days. They were bleak days (hahah) but I survived. And even if you do have a bath regularly (hair wash not included) you probably save a ton of water because your baths are actually showers and are done in 30 seconds. 🙂
You have newfound respect and admiration for your parents – This happens during the early stages of motherhood. With the endless sleep deprivation, combined with growth spurts and colic you wonder how they did it. Then add the frustration of not being able to understand what baby wants – too hot, too cold, too tired, over slept, hungry or just bored. You suddenly realise what you must have been like as a baby.
You suddenly have a ton of mom friends and don’t see much of your regular friends – Motherhood leaves you with no time. Before I had a baby I used to wonder why some women disappeared from the social circuit for a few years. And soon it was my turn. I haven’t met or even spoken to some friends on the phone (we do chat) friends from pre-pregnancy days. But I have made countless mom friends – cloth diapering moms, baby wearing moms, blogger mom friends, facebook group mom, whatsapp group mom friends and then groups within those groups. You have loads of virtual friends who may meet once in a while, but your real relationships are put on a back-burner for a while.

If you are a pregnant or waiting to conceive mother, you may find this list useful. You may not relate to it now. I mean who can fathom that I did not see the moon and the dark skies apart from the time I saw them from the windows. Right? But your time will come and you may remember me then. hahah. But we are all in this together. We all go through it, irrespective of our age, race, colour, country, support systems, parenting philosophies and what have you.

If you are a new parent, what were some of the things that you experienced but were quite unprepared for? Did they surprise you and how did you recover? I would love to know. Leave me a comment and I will come back to see all the #MomLife tales.

Johnson’s ‘Best for Baby’ event: Rekindling the scent of childhood

May 17, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 20 Comments

Today everywhere I look around on social media, the message I get is Johnson’s Best for Baby. But when the team at BabyChakra got in touch asking if I would like to attend a blogger and influencer event co-sponsored by Johnson’s Baby, my first thought was No. I had not used any JB products on #babyT, several people had told me to avoid them and I used to go around telling other new parents not to do so too. When family around me was told that they would need to chip in and mind babyT while I attended the event and that it was a JB event, many eyebrows were raised, “Oh but you don’t use Johnson’s baby products on babyT! How is this relevant for you!?” Did it make sense for me to attend this then? Is Johnson’s truly Best for baby? I had to find out. Continue reading

Be a #MealMate for a child suffering from Cancer

May 15, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 3 Comments

Love is a medicine for the sickness of the world; a prescription often given, but very rarely taken.

Cancer. A word that can strike terror in anyone’s heart. We may have never have experienced this disease in our immediate circles but it can still be a very scary & traumatic experience to even imagine. What is more unbearable is to realize that it is innocent children who suffer from Cancer. It really pushes you to question why and what that little child did to deserve a suffering like this?

And when cancer strikes, it doesn’t affect just an individual but the entire family. When a child is the one who has to cope with the disease, it seems so unfair and one cannot even begin to imagine what the parents, especially the mother, are going through. Add to that the burden of poverty which makes the situation even more unbearable.

What the children need besides timely and effective medical intervention is also nutrition. This is to help build their body’s ability to withstand the harsh treatment and build a fighting mechanism. With this view in mind JAMMS – Journey about Mast Moms has decided to associate itself with Accesslife (www.accesslife.org) to ensure that these children get their fighting chance and the necessary food nutrition through the initiative 1100 Meal Mate. JAMM’s network has now been in existence for 1100 days and this initiative is a marker in its history of giving back to society. After all, mothers know about giving of oneself and bringing joy to others.

On completion of this big milestone of 1100 days of existence, JAMMS – Mumbai and Navi Mumbai based Moms support and networking group is aiming to provide 1100 nutritious meals for children suffering from Cancer via Accesslife – a Mumbai based NGO providing stay and support to families with cancer stricken kids.

For these tiny soldiers, healthy and hygienic food plays a very important role to boost their immunity. By being their #MealMate you can be the donor of a meal (Rs. 999 onwards) I have donated to this cause, won’t you?

To donate and be a part of the initiative –

PayTM on 8080222377 or click on the link below for contributions

This is a crowd funding social campaign initiated by #JAMMSNetwork and is on till May 25th.

About JAMMS

JAMM’s network – *Journey About Mast Moms*, is initiated by Ritu (Chief Connecting Officer). It is a multi-award winning Mumbai based Moms support group for networking. It started in April 2014 and has been steadily expanding and evolving since then…

Over 20,000 Moms from various areas connect and communicate online via what’s app & a secret Facebook group + meet offline every month via their complimentary workshops, seminars and events which aid informed/conscious parenting decisions!

Over 365 underprivileged kids received haircuts during JAMMs network first anniversary event – Happy New Hair. 550 needy visually impaired people received white canes & dark glasses during their ‘i-light’ social initiative. The ‘Mast Santa’ social campaign done in Dec 2015 donated unused handbags with goodies to homeless women. ‘Step-Up’ was their April 2016 social initiative where 730 underprivileged children received footwear and over 910 sarees were collected & donated to less fortunate women during their Nov 2016 social drive.

jammsnetwork@gmail.com +91 9930203454

About Accesslife

Access Life Assistance Foundation provides a loving home for the parent or care taker and the child under treatment. Our mission is to offer a home-like environment for these families. We also try to improve the quality of life of these children by providing practical support services. These include educational resources and recreational programs.

We understand the financial pressure children cancer puts on some families. We provide them dignified accommodation at no cost while their child receives the treatment. In a country where care for the needy has long been accepted as dismal, Access Life is working to not only fill in a large unmet need but also to fundamentally change this mind-set. www.accesslife.org

MomGuilt #245: Drowning in Baby Clothes

May 13, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 26 Comments

When you are a stay-at-home mom like me, long weekends have no meaning really. I feel only the added stress of keeping up social appearances and finishing off long pending odd jobs around the house. This long weekend I did exactly that, I got my husband to mind #babyT while I took on the Herculean task of cleaning and organizing the baby wardrobe.

#BabyT is now 16 months old and his clothes have taken over almost an entire side of the wardrobe we have in the master bedroom. It started off with one shelf and now it stands at four, all full of his clothes – Tshirts, shorts, trousers, night suits, onesies, traditional Indian attire, and then some related accessories. He has over 30 pairs of socks. (Why?? Because he refuses to wear them when we are going out and I always forget to pack socks and then the mall/ restaurant is cold and we need to run and buy a bunch!)

Also I am not even counting the stuff he got as gifts which will probably fit him nicely on his fifth birthday. Lol. People really do underestimate how small babies are. And I have also added to this kitty by buying clothes online and with no standard sizing they are just waiting for him to grow up, I often look into the kids fashion just so I’m certain I’m buying the right clothes.

But the harsh reality hit when we were getting ready to go meet some of our friends and their new baby for an early dinner, and I realized that “#BabyT had nothing to wear.” (Yes he does take on after his mommy doesn’t he?) He did not have “nice, new” clothes. So I sat down to reorganize and actually separate the junk from the useful stuff. What I did get at the end of this exercise was constant muttering under my breath “This boy has way too many clothes for a baby and I am never buying anything else for him.” and the emergence of 2 sets of clothes – stuff that doesn’t fit anymore (yes this whole big bag of stuff pic below.) and stuff that fits but cannot be worn for outings because of food stains, stubborn marks leached from other clothing or fading and generally not nice.

A bag like this emerges every 3 months.

This got me thinking as to how much we actually spend on babyT’s clothes and how it is still never enough. The only solution was to actually buy more clothes. Yes, as ironic as it may sound, the fact that he had way too many clothes but not suitable ones meant we had to go buy some more. It ached my heart to know that I would be buying something worth Rs. 500 to Rs.1000+ a piece and he would only be wearing it for a short period, some maybe not even more than 2 – 3 times (Indian traditional attire.) I really wish there was someone out there who understood What Mothers Want – affordable quality clothing, so that we could really splurge and buy tons of clothes without feeling the pinch of the pocket and without the need to strip babies before they sit down to eat anything which is like 10 times in a day.

How do you mommies handle this? I am sure your babies too outgrew clothes really quickly. Leave aside the donating to other babies, how did you ensure baby always had a steady stream of affordable quality baby clothes? And how did you make sure you saved money at the same time? Where do you shop? Looking for ideas!

Y is for the Y Chromosome

April 29, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 6 Comments

Today’s maybe a slightly sensational topic. But I would urge you to read my entire blog post before you make a judgement about the word for today’s #AtoZbloggingChallenge – #Yisfor the #Ychromosome

For the longest time in, our culture predominantly, it was believed that a woman was the determinant of the sex of the child I.e. a male or female child. So if it was a female child that was born, it was totally the mother’s fault. Her body and uterus messed up.

What does science say

Science and basic genetics then taught us that it wasn’t actually the mother’s DNA but that of the father which determined whether the child would be male or female. So the mother’s egg carried two X chromosomes. And the father’s sperm cells carried an X and a Y chromosome. When one chromosome from the mother met another from the father a child was born. And if X met X then it would be a female child and if X and Y met it would be a male child. So it was the Y chromosome who was the hero/ culprit then.

K is for Keepsake: building a box of memories

April 12, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 2 Comments

Have you seen the French movie Amélie? It is by far one of my most favourite movies ever, my go to for cheer ups, absolute feel good and for the love of Audrey Tatou. ❤

If you have indeed seen it you’d remember the memory box Amelie finds buried behind a loose tile in her bathroom, hidden by a boy 40 years ago. And in that box she finds faded photos from an era gone by, and a toy car among other things. This sets her thinking, imagining and going about fixing the world around her. It’s “all the feels” really. This is the precious scene from the movie Amelie I speak of.

So when I saw this movie and this particular scene i so wanted to make a memory box for myself but sadly I had nothing from my childhood. It made me a bit sad and then I started saving movie ticket stubs, shells from the beach etc. But never got around to making a memory box anyway.

For #babyT however I decided I would make a box full of #keepsakes. Stuff that I could touch, feel and lose myself in memories of, when I opened the box anytime. I also plan to hand this over to babyT when he is grownupT and I hope he enjoys the experience too.

So what’s in my #keepsake box?

D is for Daddah: BabyT’s first word

April 5, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 1 Comment

Who spread the rumour that the first word babies say is “Mamma”? No it isn’t true at all.. #BabyT has been an early speaker, started a few words when he was around 8 months and that word was not Mamma and he still hasn’t called me Mamma, or Amma, or Ma, or Mummy at 15 months. But he loves muttering “Daddah” all day long and that was his first word too. Just splendid. 🙂

So I carried this little speck of #babyT since April 2015 and nurtured him inside my body for a whole 9 months and then got cut open to get him out and spent sleepless nights nursing him, holding him, cleaning him, getting puked, pooped and peed on by him and still do all of that, but still the boy said daddah first. :/

#MommyT’s Tips: How to make baby hair cuts more fun & less scary?

March 27, 2017 / mommyingbabyt / 0 Comments

Baby’s first hair cut – its a big step and even more so in the Indian cultural landscape where most communities have some religious or ritual significance attached to it. Almost every new parent dreads that first hair cut session for their little babies, yet come armed to the event with mobile phone cameras on full enthu mode. And what do the babies do – cry, bawl, howl and generally get all traumatized with their first experience . So too with us!

Look at that luscious mane – BabyT at 1 year

BabyT has had 2 hair cuts now. He was born with lots of lovely hair, and we waited it out to trim those luscious curls that our little rock-star had. If we had had our way we would probably have let them grow out much longer but the hot Indian weather meant he had a tough time with his lush mane and was constantly sweaty and irritated. So we decided to chop it off. The first hair cut babyT got was in MommyT and Daddah’s favourite salon chain near home. Its a pretty well established salon and we have always been very satisfied with our experiences but we realized that baby hair cuts were not their expertise. BabyT was not too happy and we were equally disappointed with the hair cut. So the second time around, we did manage to hunt for and take an appointment at a salon meant for kids. We loved the experience and the hair cut. Yet babyT cried his eyes out. We have now realized that there were some things we did right and some we could do better and so here’s my list: Continue reading

Breastfeeding, Baby-wearing, Cloth-diapering: an afternoon spent learning & sharing with JAMMS

December 6, 2016 / mommyingbabyt / 3 Comments

The afternoon of December 4^th saw a few of our JAMMS mommies and their adorable babies get together at Lil Monsters Café and Playarea, Chandivali for a Baby and Me workshop. The participants got to meet and understand areas of natural parenting from experts in the fields of breastfeeding, baby-wearing and cloth diapering.

JAMMS mommies at the Baby & me workshop on 4/12/16

First up was Dr. Zinal Unadkat, a practicing pediatrician and a certified lactation consultant. She is one of the first professionals in India to have acquired this certification and has helped countless mothers fulfill their dream of breastfeeding their babies. Dr Zinal spoke of the importance of the magic of breast crawl and the importance of feeding baby within the first hour of birth, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, and newer methods of weaning like Baby Led Weaning. She reinforced the need for demand feeding babies as breast milk is so much more than just food, its mommy’s love and providing comfort to the child in this new world they have arrived into. It was inspiring to hear real examples, from Dr Zinal, of the many strong mothers who resolved to do the best for their babies even while juggling the pressures of home, work and society. Her emphasis on using modern methods like breast pumps to feed baby breast milk even when the mother is not around baby, gave some of the participating mothers hope of regaining their career aspirations, without compromising on the best for their baby.

Dr Zinal talking about the many miracles of breastfeeding

Vinkita, mommy of lil Vihaan had this to say, “Dr Zinal was great at giving us the right knowledge about care for infants and the right attitude about motherhood. A lot of myths and beliefs that we follow were scientifically reasoned out.”

Baby-wearing is not a new concept with many cultures across the world practicing it from time immemorial and Smita Jain-Lunawat from Cuddle-n-Care, amazed us all with a range of baby carriers to suit every mother and baby at various stages in their journey. She had on display carriers like wraps, ring slings, soft structured carrier (SSC) and a mei-tai. Smita demonstrated how each carrier is worn and even took the opportunity to carry some babies to show how comfortable and easy it was to baby-wear. She spoke of how baby-wearing has helped mothers comfort their baby, tide by difficult phases such as illness, teething etc. and showed how it is possible to even breastfeed discreetly in a baby carrier.

Smita of Cuddle-n-Care demonstrating the various types of baby carriers

Mothers at the workshop were encouraged to try on the carriers that Smita had brought along. It was heartening to see the tiny little squishes cuddle up to their mommy in the great quality carriers Cuddle n Care provides. Neha, a participant mother found the baby-wearing session most useful and said that baby-wearing was “something very new which I was not aware of. I got to know the various varieties which are available and which is suitable for what stage of baby’s growth. The best part was that I was able to get hands-on by wearing my baby. I would not have learnt it in a better way and with certified experts around for help.”

The final session for the evening was conducted by Pallavi Utagi of Superbottoms cloth diapers. Cloth diapers are modern versions of the traditional nappies which ensures that baby diapering needs are taken care of in a safe, efficient and effective manner, while at the same time promising to be more environmentally-friendly, cost saving and safe for baby’s delicate skin. No more chemical filled disposable diapers and no changing langots (traditional nappies), clothes and bedding every single time baby pees. Complete convenience for mommies and caregivers; and no cranky babies. Pallavi also had on display some Superbottoms cloth diapers to help us understand the different types available such as covers, pockets and all-in-one diapers. She explained the benefits and advantages of each type of diaper. Not to mention we got to see the adorable and quirky desi prints that Superbottoms has on offer.

Pallavi of Superbottoms talks of how Cloth Diapers are so much better than disposables

JAMMS mommy Dheera Shah who attended the session with her adorable little baby girl, found the Superbottoms session to be “awesome. Such cute designs and plus so many benefits, super cost effective too. I am using all of it and enjoying every bit of it” and mommy Neha is super enthused to try cloth diapers for her baby, “after getting so many positive reviews and even knowing that some mothers have used it while traveling.” She added that “the session has boosted my confidence to go ahead and buy it.”

A special mention must be made for the Lil Monsters Café and Play-area, started and run by an ex-banker Srinitya and managed along with Deepali Shah. It houses a quaint café at the ground floor and a cosy play-area for the little ones on the mezzanine level. Complete with a maze, ball pit, trampoline, large sized board games like Jenga, Connect4 etc. and plenty of place to run around, it kept our little ones busy during the Baby and me sessions. I was a little apprehensive of leaving my 11 month old alone in the play-area but the caretakers there did a great job of engaging him and keeping him happy while I focused on the workshop. I was very satisfied and relieved to have a few moments without worrying about what babyT was up to. Fellow mommy Neha adds that she found the place to be “very spacious and hygienic, very comfortable to sit there and attend the sessions. They also have a separate section for mothers to breastfeed which made things so easy.”

A sneak peek into the Lil Monsters play-area, the LM team with Ritu of JAMMS

Overall it was a great networking and knowledge sharing session. It was wonderful to meet fellow mommies who we interact with on the JAMMS WhatsApp groups, was great to put a face to the names. It was a great pleasure to meet Ritu Gorai – Founder of JAMMS, and very heartening to note that she personally attends all JAMMS networking events. Getting to learn from each other’s experiences and getting to see baby care products first hand was very helpful. Mommy Dheera sums it up beautifully when she says, “The workshop was very informative, many misconceptions were cleared and lots of knowledge was gained… breastfeeding, baby-wearing and cloth diapering were all perfectly covered and we enjoyed the sessions immensely.”

About JAMMS – Journey about Mast Moms, initiated by Ritu Gorai, is an award winning Mumbai, Thane & Navi Mumbai moms only support group for networking that started in April 2014 and has been steadily expanding and evolving since then. It boasts of over 15,000 moms from various fields who connect and communicate online and meet offline every month during one of their complementary workshops, paid seminars and other events. JAMMS operates on a self sustainable model and has a team of 16 mothers that volunteer to run the network. JAMMS has groups for moms-to-be, new moms, grandmothers, single moms, moms of twins/ triplets, mom bloggers, HR corporates, artists, lawyers, book clubs and many more. If you are a Mumbai mom and would like to be a part of this wonderful community, go to their website here or connect with them on jammsnetwork@gmail.com / +91-9930203454. They also have a presence on social media on Twitter and Instagram

Guru Purnima thanks to babyT

July 19, 2016 / mommyingbabyt / 0 Comments

Tasmai shri guruwe namaha..

My baby has been and continues to be my biggest teacher this year.

I am learning (its a continuous process) immense patience, and the meaning of true love and absolute trust, you may doubt your own parenting skills, but your baby thinks you’re the bee’s knees, really!!

Also cool skills like surviving on two hours of sleep, lunch at 5 pm, a 2 minute bath once in two days, scoring baby gear at online auctions while putting a cranky baby at ease (my cloth diapering mama friends know this is hard core ?)

Most of all I’m trusting that nature knows it all, baby knows what he wants and when he wants it. I’ve learnt of the magic of breast milk, sustainable living with cloth diapers, environment friendly detergents, shampoos (no poo) and of other techniques, not just to do with baby care. A world I never knew existed. And one that I am glad to be a part of..

So on Guru Purnima today, I say thank you baby Tasmai, for being my inspiration.

~~My son’s name is Tasmai, inspired by a Sanskrit shloka that gives thanks & respects to one’s guru or teacher~~