Raise your hand if the moment you discovered you were pregnant you decided that you would do everything possible to care for and protect the little bean slowly growing inside you. And now raise your other hand if you suddenly found that none of the bath and body products you were using felt safe or natural to be used during pregnancy. Hey you look a little silly with both your hands up. You can relax and let me tell you about these wonderful company which makes great products. Its called The MomsCo and its one of the first Indian companies which makes bath and body products for Moms to be and new moms. Continue reading
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BabyT has been an early talker and his vocabulary consisted of 20 odd words by the time he was 1. He could identify most vegetables, fruits, animals and birds. No, he was not born with this skill. It was something he acquired. How did we do this? Books, a lot of them. But largely it was do with Flash Cards. Our positive experience with Flash Cards convinced me that this was a great way to learn for babies. It stimulated the right skills and so learning happened very quickly. And when I heard of Quantum Cards by Brainsmith I was stunned to see that this was a well researched and thought about product. I was sure flash cards would do #babyT a world of good. But more than that I was intrigued to know how Brainsmith did their Flash Cards differently. Continue reading
All aboard, My Parenting Mantra! Hop on to the Blog Train and come along with me and my fellow mommy bloggers as we share My Parenting Mantra. Some super mommy bloggers will be driving this train over a month. We promise to bring you some enriching insights into our lives and maybe some that will add to your own parenting experience.
Before that, a big thanks to Misha who captured her Parenting Mantras at Freshly Baked Head for introducing me. Meet all the blogger moms who are part of this blog train here.
My Parenting Mantra – Trust & Faith
Like most first time parents, we entered the world of bringing up babyT with a blank slate. Sure we had read all the What to Expects, and Dr Spock from cover to cover and waited for the weekly updates from BabyCentre. But we did not really know what lay ahead of us. Or how we would fare in the practicals.
And to top it, being a mother makes you super paranoid. You are always concerned whether your child is weighing enough, eating enough, developing enough, learning to walk, talk and the whole shenanigans that come with. But this is where I learnt a big lesson that nature is bigger than any of us put together. And that we must just TRUST Her to do Her job.
Including essential nutrition along with variety and novelty is the key to developing good eating habits in younger children. With #babyT, we followed baby led weaning and ensured that he began family food once he started solid foods. And like most parents today we followed the ‘no salt’ and ‘no sugar’ principle till he turned 1. Now that he is 1.5 years young he truly does eat all types of homemade food. This includes all flavours – sweet, spicy & savoury. ‘Anything in moderation is fine’ is my mantra and I am happy that he is not a fussy eater. My pain point however was MILK. And before I begin my Sipahh Straws review I want to share what the current scenario in our household is like. Continue reading
Hurray HallMark you succeeded in winning one more customer. Since a baby has arrived in our lives, we now celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Which is very welcome of course. I am not even getting into the debate of why just one day to celebrate moms or dads here. But let’s just go with it and get daddy a gift this Sunday. If you are like me and don’t even know what day of the week it is. Or worse that we are already in the month of June. Wait, you did realize we are in 2017 right? Oh gosh! Not to fret. Here are the best last minute Father’s Day gift ideas. Continue reading
When a fellow mommy in our Mom Blogger Chatter group told us about the Matrika’s Creative Woman’s Journal review contest I was intrigued. What a lovely way to market a product? But that was not all there was to it. The journals themselves were breathtakingly beautiful. I was truly spoiled for choice to select one, but finally settled on the Write series. The deep red colour with the golden polka dots and the feather plume on the cover page felt like the right choice for me and my new avatar as a blogger. Continue reading
Last weekend #BabyT’s daddy and I requested my MIL to take care of the little tyke and we sneaked out for dinner. The real reason was my husband wanted to buy some office wear. I decided to invite myself to the event. 🙂 I made real effort to dress up for this mundane task of buying crisp, white shirts & socks (bleh). I dug deep into my closet and yanked out a short dress which, wait for it, this is going to be Leg-En-Dary – did not open from the front. No baby in tow, no breasts need freedom. Hurray!! Small joys. These are the things no one told you about being a mother. Why, kind pregnant people, who went before me, didn’t you tell me I will never wear a simple dress with no buttons, zips or loose fits in the front? Why will I spend the first year or more of my life as a new mother in loose fitting T-shirts or ugly looking maternity gowns with frills & flares & just ugh.
But the dress is not all there is to it. There are many things no one told you about being a mother. So here I present to you, the other side of being a mother.
- You will never wear a dress – You will never wear a dress which is closed from the front and doesn’t release your breasts with minimum effort. Breastfeeding is not easy. But when you want to stick it out for the bare minimum and then want to continue with extended breastfeeding, remember you will never wear any outfit where it is a task to feed baby. As it is, fashionable maternity and breastfeeding friendly dresses are a rarity.
So it has been 18 months of wearing nothing but loose T-shirts for me. Shopping for me means buying yet another T-shirt, maybe in a new colour.
When the cold shoulder trend hit the catwalks and the high street stores I could do nothing but cry. They are so gorgeous. I so wanted to try one, but no – breasts did not come out. So all I could do was sulk. Until a dear friend decided to design some beautiful nursing friendly dresses just for me. 🙂 - Going out to dinner – We were very particular that babyT develop a good sleep routine. So right from the time he was born till he was about 1 year old he was put to bed latest by 8 pm. His bed time was a religiously followed routine of warm sponging, baby lotion massage, diaper change, story and nursing to sleep. He then slept only to wake up hourly or so to nurse in the early days. This meant we never went out anywhere in the evenings. Even if we were out we would be back home by 5. The first time I was out after the sun had set (somewhere around when babyT was 11 months) I felt a new sense of joy of seeing the twilight skies. It was surreal. I am sure this is one of the things no one told you about being a mother.
- Enjoying a leisurely meal – All meals are gulped down these days. Irrespective of whether babyT is awake, sleeping or with someone else. Adult meal times seem like a chore which must be completed rather than savoured. This is because there are usually ten things lined up to do and eating is the least of the indulgences I would like to spend time on. Oh and beverages are always had only cold. 🙂
- Bathrooming in peace – Just this week, Facebook Memories threw this post from last year up for me to see.
So yes ever since I have been managing babyT on my own to this day, going to restroom in peace has been a forgone conclusion. I really don’t know what it is with babies but the moment their moms enter the bathroom they get so insecure and will bang endlessly on the door until she is out. - Doing laundry all the time – Morning or night, rain or shine I am forever doing laundry. There is a lot of adult clothes, baby clothes, cloth diapers and other clothes. Sometimes these 4 loads run on a single day. There is also separate detergent for babies, hot water for cloth diapers and an extra spin cycle in the monsoon. You can hear me tell my laundry tales here.
- Doing anything on time – be it a wedding or a party or a Doctor’s appointment or just plain simple watching the 9 pm serial. You will never make it to any of these on time ever. Because getting a baby or worse a toddler dressed and ready to go is a task which you will never accomplish with even the most precise of plans. And even if you do everything right, just as you are about to step out the door – baby is going to poop or puke and you are back at Start.
- You will be surprised how you remember all the nursery rhymes from your own childhood with actions – This was a huge surprise to me. With no babies and small children around in my immediate environment in the last decade or so, I felt I may be at a loss to remember the nursery rhymes. But when babyT needed entertainment I don’t know from where they erupted.. Incy Wincy spider with all the steps and Do Re Mi too. I did not even know that Do Re Mi had steps.
- You can kiss goodbye to clean anything: house, car and yourself too – You have a baby. You don’t clean up often. Maybe only once the baby is asleep. Yourself included. My record for number of days without a bath stands at 3 days. They were bleak days (hahah) but I survived. And even if you do have a bath regularly (hair wash not included) you probably save a ton of water because your baths are actually showers and are done in 30 seconds. 🙂
- You have newfound respect and admiration for your parents – This happens during the early stages of motherhood. With the endless sleep deprivation, combined with growth spurts and colic you wonder how they did it. Then add the frustration of not being able to understand what baby wants – too hot, too cold, too tired, over slept, hungry or just bored. You suddenly realise what you must have been like as a baby.
- You suddenly have a ton of mom friends and don’t see much of your regular friends – Motherhood leaves you with no time. Before I had a baby I used to wonder why some women disappeared from the social circuit for a few years. And soon it was my turn. I haven’t met or even spoken to some friends on the phone (we do chat) friends from pre-pregnancy days. But I have made countless mom friends – cloth diapering moms, baby wearing moms, blogger mom friends, facebook group mom, whatsapp group mom friends and then groups within those groups. You have loads of virtual friends who may meet once in a while, but your real relationships are put on a back-burner for a while.
If you are a pregnant or waiting to conceive mother, you may find this list useful. You may not relate to it now. I mean who can fathom that I did not see the moon and the dark skies apart from the time I saw them from the windows. Right? But your time will come and you may remember me then. hahah. But we are all in this together. We all go through it, irrespective of our age, race, colour, country, support systems, parenting philosophies and what have you.
If you are a new parent, what were some of the things that you experienced but were quite unprepared for? Did they surprise you and how did you recover? I would love to know. Leave me a comment and I will come back to see all the #MomLife tales.
5th June marks World Environment Day and like most people I do stop to ponder about the impact my actions & living choice have on the world & its environment. World Environment Day is not a hallmark holiday. It is a very important and grave part of our modern lives today. We need to talk more about the Environment and the legacy we leave behind. The old Indian saying which has been quoted far too many times, rings loudly in my ears…
“We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children”
Before I had #BabyT I would roll my eyes at those tree hugger type of people who would advocate save trees, go green, save water and all of it was mumbo-jumbo to me. I mean how does just one plastic bag I use make a difference? Right?
Turns out I was wrong. When they put that shriveled up & pink little dumpling in my arms I was transformed. I vowed to do everything to protect him and bring him up as a good human being in a better world than you and I know today. A cleaner, greener, healthier world. And so I joined the “Hippy bandwagon” – the term hurts me sometimes, but this is what some people now refer to me as. A hippy. But the hippies are a cool lot, they spread love and harmony and did a lot for the world that they graced their brief lives with.
Sundays are reserved for cleaning and tidying up and when I was doing that I chanced upon a diary from 2015. A quick glance landed me on the page for 25th April 2015. The words written on it tugged at my heart strings…
“So it begins.. we are pregnant”
This was the day in 2015, when our lab technician called me to tell me about the HcG blood test report we did. I didn’t understand the values she rattled off and asked her what does it mean.. and I still remember her little laugh and her saying “Congratulations!” (oops, I’m have a lump in my throat here.)
It got me reminiscing about that beautiful year in my life. After a lot of bad years, missed chances, depression, failures & tears, and almost giving up, we had 2015. The year of our pregnancy!
This pic is all kinds of sublime isn’t it? Look closely, that’s a toddler breastfeeding right there. It was taken on our recent holiday at Goa. We were walking around the lush green lawns of the fairly plush resort we were staying at… and babyT wanted “du-du” right about now! Our room was a good and leisurely 10 minute walk away. My husband pointed to this little spot and said “It’s nice and shady there, plus you can get a good pic for your social media.” I made a beeline for it. 🙂 Lol. Toddler Breastfeeding is as good for babyT as it is for mommy’s social media accounts, right?
BabyT is exactly 17.5 months today.. to the lay person who doesn’t keep track of months (only moms do that.) he is almost 1.5 years young. And he is still breastfeeding. He has never tasted formula milk. He cannot have cows milk – he seems to be allergic to it, we haven’t tested it yet. Breastmilk is all he has. (And water. Coconut water. Juices. Soups etc. Of course)
When I began my breastfeeding journey I had not planned on a date or time when I would stop feeding. I had not planned I would feed him this long either. We did decide to follow baby’s cues and let him decide till when he wants to have breastmilk.
Breastfeeding has been a saviour for us in many ways –
- It has helped him be relatively healthy with very few incidences of colds and fevers
- Even when he did contract a viral infection he recovered fairly quickly from it
- We sailed through teething
- We got by those days of no appetite and hunger strikes and survived solely on breast-milk
- BabyT is fairly bright chap… i am sure it is genes and a lot of other factors too at play. But he could identify a few colours around the time he was 10 months, knew parts of the body (some, not all) by 11 months and had a vocabulary of at least 10+ words by the time he was 1 year. (it is normal to have a 10+ vocab at around 18 months age) I am sure breastmilk nutrition went a long way in giving that to him
However I will admit it can be difficult and mind numbing on some days. Like today. I had planned this blog post on toddler breastfeeding as part of my blog anniversary celebrations but babyT had other plans. He was extremely fussy, cranky and irritable and wanted only breastmilk. Every 10 minutes at that. If I refused he would wrestle me down on the bed and lift my top and have a sip and disappear, only to return in another 20 minutes. I was beyond harassed. I was frustrated, half cursing myself for not stepping out (he is usually fine if I am out of the house and doesn’t fuss for breastmilk) Also cursing myself for not having ever developed a routine of pumping milk. It was a hard day in all.
Hell, I had not worn a single outfit which did not offer access to my breasts for babyT to feed on indoor or out of home. That’s 1.5 years of very limited types of clothes one can wear.
But this is a decision we have taken and there will be tough times. What I have learned about toddler breastfeeding and actually about everything related to baby is DON’T QUIT ON A BAD DAY! I heard this first in a breastfeeding support group for mothers, but it has held true for so many things in the past 1.5 years of parenthood. If you are currently pregnant or a new parent or know someone who is, please do them a huge favour and ask them to joing this group on Facebook – Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mothers.
Some tips which help me in this current phase of extended breastfeeding are –
- Ignore everyone else’s comments, eyerolls, stares & whatever have you – even the most educated, well read and well meaning of people have told me at some point of time that it is enough now and I should start weaning. Some young folk look at me like I am a villager and that I am causing some major trauma to my child. Just blank them out from your life.
- Get used to nursing in public – Since the first time I nursed in public I have never looked back. Restaurants, Cabs, Planes, the Park (pic above) we breastfeed whenever babyT wants to. And like with most things, the first time is the hardest and you just learn and get better at it. Wearing breastfeeding friendly clothes can be a boon. However I will also admit that there is a serious dirth of them out there. Pretty ones at least. So look up the two T-shirt method and practice.
- Do yourself a favour and live a little – I pumped once in my life so far. It was liberating. BabyT was happy while I was out with my fellow mommy bloggers attending an event for Baby Chakra. For the longest time I tied myself down to the baby and within the 4 walls of my house, but pumping/ expressing milk and keeping it for baby while you are away is a blessing and I would highly recommend it. You may even find the push you need to continue toddler breastfeeding.
- Keep reminding yourself that you chose this and you WANTED to do this for your baby. As I said before never quit on a bad day. Here is a poem I wrote on the occasion of World Breastfeeding Week last year and I am so proud that it is a well circulated one in social media circles and has been read so many times. Because it is true, we are all in this together.
- Remember that even toddlers go through growth spurts and terrible teething phases. Damn those molars. So when babyT is being fussy, I know that he is most probably going through something which is hard for him so I let him indulge. It may not be nursing for milk, it may be only for comfort and he needs it. In fact thank your stars that you are still breastfeeding your toddler, it is so much easier to comfort a fussy baby.
I don’t know what they future holds for our breastfeeding journey. Like many other children babyT may suddenly decide overnight to wean himself. Or he may still want to breastfeed well into toddlerhood. Whatever life throws at us, I do know that I am grateful for having got the gift and ability to breastfeed and that I have done complete justice to it.
Does anyone you know need inspiration to continue breastfeeding? Share this blog piece with them, won’t you?
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