Mommying BabyT

Mommy T's adventures; bringing up Baby T

Motherhood & a new me

Ask any new mother and she will tell you how nothing prepared her for motherhood and how it totally turned her life upside down. I am one of these too. Motherhood has completely overhauled my life, my skill sets, my belief systems & values. It has changed me as a person – the way I view myself more than anything else. Hey, I made a baby, and I can do anything if I put my mind to it. Motherhood changed something big in me and here I tell you what it is.

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Motherhood changed me at the very core and essence of my being. Sometimes when I sit back and look at the newness back and look at the newness of my life (not just in terms of a new baby and all that) I am astonished to realised that such a big change happened and that I did not even realise when it took place.

Let me first say, I am sorry

I think it is very human to compare, evaluate and put one person or thing above another. I know this sounds perfectly fair but on the other end of the spectrum sometimes it also means you put someone down. I am as guilty of this as the next person (Don’t tell me you have never judged another person.. especially a mother. If you do believe you haven’t, think hard & long.) Becoming a mother and being a part of so many mom groups – both formal and informal has made me realise that mothers have it really tough. No, I am not talking about the physical hardship or the sleepless nights. I mean by way of being answerable to every person who walks the face of this earth – from your immediate family, your extended family, your house help, the doctor & nurses, the cab driver (Yes, a cab driver in Goa on our holiday gave me some “gyaan” on why I am doing a stupid thing by still breastfeeding my child at 1 year+) Add to this mom guilt and the “curse of eternal memory” as a fellow mom blogger Shweta of Times of Amma says. Read what she has to say about motherhood here.

You get the drift.

I was one of those too. “What an irresponsible mother – she has a nanny to lug her child around the mall.” Today I am that mother. And I know why a mother would do the things she does. And all that she does is the best for her child and her own self. I am wiser now. I am less judgemental. I empathise more. And so I am sorry to all the moms I used to judge.

Love, Peace and all the Flower Power

Vegan, cruelty-free, no animal milk, organic, natural, pure, reduce/ reuse/ recycle & back to basics. Hippies all of them. Most of these terms seemed all mumbo-jumbo and fake to me at one point of time. Until I had a baby that is.

When babyT arrived in our lives a switch went off in our brain and hearts and we suddenly became responsible citizens of planet Earth. Everything from not using disposable diapers to reducing waste, not using plastics and giving up on animal milk and dairy products as a family (more due to medical reasons) is how we lead our lives. We have joined the “hippy” brigade.

I never did think I would be the one to find any merit in this. But I have and I am now convinced how this is the only way that we will be able to sustain life and the planet we live on. More than better health or immunity, it also assures me that we ourselves will be responsible citizens and raise a child who will see a better world tomorrow.

Bring it on

I used to think that working a 9 to 9 job and then hitting the town to party the night away with friends, and then turning up to work at 8 am the next day made me some sort of a superwoman. Boy, was I wrong about how much more I could pack in.

modern woman

I am not just talking about the many roles that get added on in terms of mothering and nurturing a fragile child but in terms of the new roles that I suddenly found the impetus for.  I started blogging, and writing – something that I wanted to do for the longest time. All my life I had a flair for the written word and was trusted by my teachers to write, edit and publish school and college magazines and other brochures. But I never found the drive to start writing for myself until babyT arrived.

But that was not all. I also have come to the stage where I partner with brands, social causes, networking with other moms and mom bloggers, educating new moms to be about the journey ahead. Add participating in writing festivals, blogging challenges and trains, run Instagram contests and giveaways. Whew! I honestly don’t know where my energy comes for and the time too. But it gets done. It’s like motherhood has fitted me with an Energizer battery that just keeps going. 🙂

I am part of this blog train started by Pooja Kawatra of Mums & Babies and she has networked to bring together 41 moms across the GLOBE. (Meet the 41 moms here.) Pooja has also shared her own perspective on this here.

Blog Train by Mums & Babies

One of my favourite Mama’s Sushmita Chatterjee Targett wrote about her beautiful experience of how giving birth to a child of her own made her a better mother to her older stepchildren. Do read it here.

I would now like to pave the way for the next mommy blogger in our blog train.

Meet Akanksha Arora Sharma. She is a blogger mommying her little man Rayaan. A dental surgeon by profession Akanksha started her journey in the blogging world last year in July and runs a blog by the name of MummyandRayaan. She talks about her mothering journey and also a lot about her travel stories which have also been featured on biglifeshots and supermommitali accounts on Instagram, Akanksha’s Instagram feed is an absolute delight and I highly recommend you follow her.

Happy reading!

 

 

 

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33 Comments

  1. Really enjoyed reading this Nayatara! I so agree with you on the judging thing – once I became a mom, I learned to be more understanding and less judging. A lovely piece!

  2. Lovely Write Up Nayantara. So glad to connect with fabulous mother like you . There is so much I learn from you♥️

  3. Oh yes Nayantara we learn a lot and we change a lot. I agree that motherhood gives a reality check. We might think that we are super humans when we multi task but motherhood is a different ball game all together. Loved your article . Also motherhood made you a responsible person and did a lot to conserve environment which is very heartening to know too.

  4. Oh Nayantara I totally enjoyed reading this. So honest and so much resonates with me. Thanks for the shout out too. You are the best xx

  5. Wow I admire how you manage motherhood well. I am still struggle everyday. Love your insights about motherhood..

  6. Oh don’t even have any mom guilt about breastfeeding ur little one!!! We should stand up for ourselves n be proud of it (shame on that taxi driver)…I fully breastfed my 2 kids 5 years in total. Kudos momma…

  7. Oh don’t even have any mom guilt about breastfeeding ur little one!!! We should stand up for ourselves n be proud of it (shame on that taxi driver)…I fully breastfed my 2 kids 5 years in total. Kudos momma…

    Xoxo,
    Jamie Chaw
    (http://karmie080808.blogspot.sg/)

  8. Love everything you said under I’m sorry , a very honest account of how you also judged other mommies until you became a mommy yourself, that’s a fresh take on learnings of motherhood….some great writing here, you are a fab

  9. Wow mom . You are doing so much . Ever since I became a mom , I realised the immense world of mom bloggers in India and abroad! I was a travel blogger and a surgeon before motherhood happened to me, and like many , my writing skills have improved with motherhood .

  10. Loved your blog dear.. Its as if I was reading my own story.. I too am guilty of judging others. Now make a conscious effort to not judge and be kind to others.

    Neha (Sharing our experiences)

  11. Such a heartwarming post, it’s always a pleasure to read your blog posts cause they inspire in a way. Even i was that mom who commented on other moms but now being in that shoe I know motherhood is tough.

    Allthatsmom

  12. Nayantara, it was an awesome read. I guess motherhood also teaches us to be honest with ourselves and you have clearly shown it through your first point. Whatever we do to make this journey perfect seems less in front of our child’s happiness. But it’s so magical that we want to make it perfect…

    MothersGurukul has recently posted
    http://mothersgurukul.com/my-kid-doesnt-prefer-tv-should-i-be-happy/

  13. I am guilty of judging other moms too. But realize how things turn out differently for everyone. Wonderful read, Tara.

  14. Felt your heart dear. You have expressed so well. Yes, I too agree …. Motherhood has changed every mother in one way or other. Happy to join with you on this blog train.

  15. This is so true Tara! Talk about judging! It still hasn’t stopped. I recently faced one flak of it And yes there is some supernatural energy which comes into us as soon as our babies come in this world! Talk about supernatural, it mostly reminds me of the old folklore tales , where a mother would go to any extent to do good for her baby!

  16. Such an honest post this is! Yes, we’ve all judged and been judged at more than once . And yes, I agree you are a superwoman of sorts! Ive no freaking idea where you get the time and energy and creativity to do so much!

  17. I’d never know myself what it is to be a Mother but I can agree to most of the things because I have observed my mother. A beautiful post and I love MOTHERS. All Mothers. ❤

  18. It’s true how motherhood brought all things into perspective for us after baby came into the picture. Thanks for the candid sharing of your thoughts and growth.

  19. Nayantara I will not lie. I have judged moms – working, not working, maids in malls and what not. It takes an experience to understand and accept the motherhood load. And the biggest blessing has been to meet my tribe. you all! 🙂

  20. Lol. So thats the reason i love you and your reads TARA. You right stuff so effortlessly. Loved the point that doing a job we felt we are superwoman.. now we know the real strengths

  21. Yes , the world changes .. Not for the mother but for the FATHER’s too .. I have a 3 year old kid and he seems to be with me for like 30 years .. Even at such age he has advice on anything and everything on planet .. Fatherhood taught me the highest level of Patience and it has benefited in other form of life too ..

  22. It’s amazing how blogging and motherhood has brought you new opportunities and learning! You are going great!

  23. Motherhood changes you in amazing ways. 🙂

  24. Beautiful write up Nayantara❤ loved reading this piece. Yes, every mom knows what is good for her child 😊 and what not! So, even I have stopped judging moms for their decisions.

  25. Dear Nayantara I totally loved reading this. So honest and so beautifully written.
    Love
    P.

  26. I totally understand you and through these years I have come to understand that people do things they need do,especially moms. I have long back stopped judging moms, they know what they are doing and they would surely love their child more than any one else. Lovely post

  27. Motherhood is such an important responsibility. It must feel wonderful to bring a new life to this world. Hats off

  28. wow, what an amazing post was this to read. each and every point was so well explained. straight from your heart. God Bless.

  29. Exactly..the word motherhood gives a lot of change..a change for better…even I used to be that judgemental one but realised my mistake soon after I became a mom.

  30. This was really sweet. You sort of expressed how your thoughts changed when you became a mother. Didn’t expect a ‘am sorry’ section in this at all. 🙂 Kudos to you

  31. How true, no matter what we claim, we are all guilty of judging some or the other mom & probably making her feel miserable about her choices. But I am glad as moms we at least think about it and act on it. And, hey I always knew you are a cloth diapering mamma, but never knew you have even given up plastic & dairy!!! I try to (Not 100% successful though) not use plastic. Some packaged goods are still unavoidable which I am working on, but at least the polythene bags is a strict No No for me.

  32. Loved reading this Nayantara. It’s true that somehow we all end up judging mothers until we become one. It’s only then when we realize what a rollercoater ride mommyhood could be.

  33. For sure I judge other moms too. Sometimes over jealousy to be honest, like ARGH! Why does she get to continue her partying and social lifestyle after becoming mom while I get stuck here with my kid looking so rundown?

    Thanks for sharing your piece!

    I am on the blog train as well and will be publishing my post on 25th of October! Follow me at http://www.instagram.com/mmlittlee and http://www.fb.com/mmlittlee!

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