What’s in a name? A lot, actually. People say your name defines you. It is your visiting card. It sets impressions even before people have met or interacted with you. I love my name. It is unique, uncommon and poetic. Nayantara is the apple of her mother’s eye and I think I am that. Nayantara has beautiful eyes and I have been told I have them. Nayantara is the name of a flower and I would like to believe that like the blue periwinkle, ‘Nayantara’ in Bangla, I too am low maintenance but spread a lot of cheer and brightness.
Category: Pregnancy
It is said that motherhood transforms women. That isn’t merely a statement; there is a modicum of truth there as the moment we hold the little bundle of joy in our arms, its like the entire wiring in our brains changes. For example, when I was a new mother I was very interested in everything that was related to child care. After all I was in charge of lots of decisions. One such decision was vaccination and the kinds of vaccines deemed the safest and most effective. The kind of research I did, would put an earnest PhD student to shame. Which brings me to the topic I want to talk about today: vaccines that don’t have preservatives.
Infertility is like a bad dream for couples who are trying to conceive and welcome a healthy baby into their lives. That’s why some people look to using something like these pills to get pregnant fast. Sometimes that’s all they need to work. However most of us lead a very hectic lifestyle today. Health is a concern which many don’t have time for. Combined with irregular food & exercise habits, more and more women are facing a problem in conceiving. Obesity is one of the primary causes of difficulty in reproductivity for women. In addition to that, in many cases due to obesity, the body doesn’t respond to the fertility drugs as obesity hinders the absorption process. Various fertility issues can be attributed to obesity such as irregular ovulation and recurrent miscarriages. Continue reading
Morning sickness may have finally cleared up and you’ve bought your copy of ‘What to Expect’, you’re already dreaming of pink or blue and you have a mental list of all the cute bowties and tutus you are going to dress your little bundle of joy in. But how ready do you feel you are for the birthing process and the aftermath of how to hold, feed, clean and care for your newborn?
If you are a first-time mom, then I can say with some degree of certainty that you feel a bit scared or overwhelmed of giving birth and whether you will be able to provide the basic care that a newborn requires. I was clueless. I was an expert when it came to knowing which fruit my foetus could be compared to in size, but I knew nothing about the process of labour, how to make it easy and effective.. or wait a minute, I didn’t even know what labour felt like. Continue reading
What would you say if you were offered the following menu? Where would you think you were dining? Have a look at the feasts on offer:
- Cream of asparagus soup
- Multi grain roti
- Coloured veggies sabji
- Mixed dal
- Vegetable pulao
- Italian salad
- Fresh citrus fruits juice
Sounds healthy but delicious right? I remember this menu so clearly and I can almost taste them all so vividly. You better sit down when you read this, because it will surprise you. Here goes, this was on the menu when I was in the hospital recovering from childbirth. I had heard that hospital food was yummy but I got to experience this first hand during my stay there.
Did I ever tell you, I started this blog about a year back to talk about my pregnancy and how I emerged from battling infertility to finally being pregnant and having a child in my arms? I don’t think I have ever had the guts though to revisit that difficult time in my place. Therefore I have never written about it on my blog. This, in fact, is my 90th and something blog post here and I think I am finally ready to talk about it – my miracle pregnancy. Continue reading
I spent almost a decade in the Human Resource function and of that a considerable portion in recruitment and staffing. Please don’t be disappointed to see a very unusual analogy here. I can explain. Almost every HR specialist has read a book title “The first 90 days” and how it impacts the success of a new recruit or a newly elevated leader. And I live by this book. Most of your lives early experiences will largely determine how well you fare in those areas. And the same goes for the early breastfeeding issues.
New mothers need to see successes in their early breastfeeding days in order to have a journey that is fulfilling and satisfying to both her newborn child and herself.
And of course, as you would have with most things in life, it is the early breastfeeding days which are most challenging. Most of the breastfeeding issues begin here. Sadly, when most people tend to give up. While it is true that a little perseverance and determination can get most people through any challenge life throws at them, breastfeeding is different. It is combined with a woman who is bearing the severe trauma of childbirth, is a muddle of hormones and is probably fielding a myriad of opinions & statements on how she should be raising that little being that may be less than a day old even. Breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally and is hard. Continue reading
Raise your hand if the moment you discovered you were pregnant you decided that you would do everything possible to care for and protect the little bean slowly growing inside you. And now raise your other hand if you suddenly found that none of the bath and body products you were using felt safe or natural to be used during pregnancy. Hey you look a little silly with both your hands up. You can relax and let me tell you about these wonderful company which makes great products. Its called The MomsCo and its one of the first Indian companies which makes bath and body products for Moms to be and new moms. Continue reading
Last weekend #BabyT’s daddy and I requested my MIL to take care of the little tyke and we sneaked out for dinner. The real reason was my husband wanted to buy some office wear. I decided to invite myself to the event. 🙂 I made real effort to dress up for this mundane task of buying crisp, white shirts & socks (bleh). I dug deep into my closet and yanked out a short dress which, wait for it, this is going to be Leg-En-Dary – did not open from the front. No baby in tow, no breasts need freedom. Hurray!! Small joys. These are the things no one told you about being a mother. Why, kind pregnant people, who went before me, didn’t you tell me I will never wear a simple dress with no buttons, zips or loose fits in the front? Why will I spend the first year or more of my life as a new mother in loose fitting T-shirts or ugly looking maternity gowns with frills & flares & just ugh.
But the dress is not all there is to it. There are many things no one told you about being a mother. So here I present to you, the other side of being a mother.
- You will never wear a dress – You will never wear a dress which is closed from the front and doesn’t release your breasts with minimum effort. Breastfeeding is not easy. But when you want to stick it out for the bare minimum and then want to continue with extended breastfeeding, remember you will never wear any outfit where it is a task to feed baby. As it is, fashionable maternity and breastfeeding friendly dresses are a rarity.
So it has been 18 months of wearing nothing but loose T-shirts for me. Shopping for me means buying yet another T-shirt, maybe in a new colour.
When the cold shoulder trend hit the catwalks and the high street stores I could do nothing but cry. They are so gorgeous. I so wanted to try one, but no – breasts did not come out. So all I could do was sulk. Until a dear friend decided to design some beautiful nursing friendly dresses just for me. 🙂 - Going out to dinner – We were very particular that babyT develop a good sleep routine. So right from the time he was born till he was about 1 year old he was put to bed latest by 8 pm. His bed time was a religiously followed routine of warm sponging, baby lotion massage, diaper change, story and nursing to sleep. He then slept only to wake up hourly or so to nurse in the early days. This meant we never went out anywhere in the evenings. Even if we were out we would be back home by 5. The first time I was out after the sun had set (somewhere around when babyT was 11 months) I felt a new sense of joy of seeing the twilight skies. It was surreal. I am sure this is one of the things no one told you about being a mother.
- Enjoying a leisurely meal – All meals are gulped down these days. Irrespective of whether babyT is awake, sleeping or with someone else. Adult meal times seem like a chore which must be completed rather than savoured. This is because there are usually ten things lined up to do and eating is the least of the indulgences I would like to spend time on. Oh and beverages are always had only cold. 🙂
- Bathrooming in peace – Just this week, Facebook Memories threw this post from last year up for me to see.
So yes ever since I have been managing babyT on my own to this day, going to restroom in peace has been a forgone conclusion. I really don’t know what it is with babies but the moment their moms enter the bathroom they get so insecure and will bang endlessly on the door until she is out. - Doing laundry all the time – Morning or night, rain or shine I am forever doing laundry. There is a lot of adult clothes, baby clothes, cloth diapers and other clothes. Sometimes these 4 loads run on a single day. There is also separate detergent for babies, hot water for cloth diapers and an extra spin cycle in the monsoon. You can hear me tell my laundry tales here.
- Doing anything on time – be it a wedding or a party or a Doctor’s appointment or just plain simple watching the 9 pm serial. You will never make it to any of these on time ever. Because getting a baby or worse a toddler dressed and ready to go is a task which you will never accomplish with even the most precise of plans. And even if you do everything right, just as you are about to step out the door – baby is going to poop or puke and you are back at Start.
- You will be surprised how you remember all the nursery rhymes from your own childhood with actions – This was a huge surprise to me. With no babies and small children around in my immediate environment in the last decade or so, I felt I may be at a loss to remember the nursery rhymes. But when babyT needed entertainment I don’t know from where they erupted.. Incy Wincy spider with all the steps and Do Re Mi too. I did not even know that Do Re Mi had steps.
- You can kiss goodbye to clean anything: house, car and yourself too – You have a baby. You don’t clean up often. Maybe only once the baby is asleep. Yourself included. My record for number of days without a bath stands at 3 days. They were bleak days (hahah) but I survived. And even if you do have a bath regularly (hair wash not included) you probably save a ton of water because your baths are actually showers and are done in 30 seconds. 🙂
- You have newfound respect and admiration for your parents – This happens during the early stages of motherhood. With the endless sleep deprivation, combined with growth spurts and colic you wonder how they did it. Then add the frustration of not being able to understand what baby wants – too hot, too cold, too tired, over slept, hungry or just bored. You suddenly realise what you must have been like as a baby.
- You suddenly have a ton of mom friends and don’t see much of your regular friends – Motherhood leaves you with no time. Before I had a baby I used to wonder why some women disappeared from the social circuit for a few years. And soon it was my turn. I haven’t met or even spoken to some friends on the phone (we do chat) friends from pre-pregnancy days. But I have made countless mom friends – cloth diapering moms, baby wearing moms, blogger mom friends, facebook group mom, whatsapp group mom friends and then groups within those groups. You have loads of virtual friends who may meet once in a while, but your real relationships are put on a back-burner for a while.
If you are a pregnant or waiting to conceive mother, you may find this list useful. You may not relate to it now. I mean who can fathom that I did not see the moon and the dark skies apart from the time I saw them from the windows. Right? But your time will come and you may remember me then. hahah. But we are all in this together. We all go through it, irrespective of our age, race, colour, country, support systems, parenting philosophies and what have you.
If you are a new parent, what were some of the things that you experienced but were quite unprepared for? Did they surprise you and how did you recover? I would love to know. Leave me a comment and I will come back to see all the #MomLife tales.
Sundays are reserved for cleaning and tidying up and when I was doing that I chanced upon a diary from 2015. A quick glance landed me on the page for 25th April 2015. The words written on it tugged at my heart strings…
“So it begins.. we are pregnant”
This was the day in 2015, when our lab technician called me to tell me about the HcG blood test report we did. I didn’t understand the values she rattled off and asked her what does it mean.. and I still remember her little laugh and her saying “Congratulations!” (oops, I’m have a lump in my throat here.)
It got me reminiscing about that beautiful year in my life. After a lot of bad years, missed chances, depression, failures & tears, and almost giving up, we had 2015. The year of our pregnancy!
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