Mommy T's adventures; bringing up Baby T

Category: Family Life (Page 1 of 2)

Building inclusion from the home

As the debate on same sex marriages rages in the Indian courts, it’s not just the nation but the world that watches with baited breath, on what the outcome and the aftereffects are going to be. But more than this, what is really evident is that the world is a truly diverse place, and every individual has a right to live a life of dignity and safety, experience love, and joy. What role then can we as parents play in ensuring that our children who will come in to this world a decade or two down the line, don’t have to fight for basic rights but will thrive where there is mutual respect and love?! This thought plays in my mind every time I watch or read the news these days. Moving into a role at work that focuses on diversity, equity, and inclusion has only made this a more pressing need for our family – how can we raise our child to be more inclusive?

Here are some ways you can help children be more inclusive:

1. Teach them about different cultures: Children should be taught about different cultures and traditions from a young age. This will help them understand and appreciate the differences between people. Truth be spoken India is a very diverse nation, isn’t it every 50 kilometers that we get to experience a different dialect, food habits and traditions? But experience shows that we are not as tolerant as that. Judgments based on caste, coloyr, backgrounds, religion, and so much more divide us. Is it because we are made to only see ourselves as superior and reject every other reality out there? It baffles me sometimes. But judgemental we are for sure. How about we be more open and revel in our variety instead? Let our children see that diversity is to be celebrated, not resisted.

2. Encourage them to make friends with people who are different from them: Encourage your child to make friends with people who are different from them. This will help them learn about different cultures and perspectives. Thanks to the cosmopolitan society most of us live in, we do get to experience social relationships with people from different categories. But look deeper – how many Muslim people do you work with? Or live in the same apartment complex as you? Have you heard of landlords rejecting renters who are single, Trans individuals, or Muslims? I’ve heard of it much too often and moreover because of the role I play in my organization. Let’s look at the behaviors we model and allow our children to observe and be better people themselves.

3. Teach them to be kind and respectful: Children should be taught to be kind and respectful to everyone, regardless of their differences. This includes being respectful of people’s beliefs, cultures, and backgrounds. There is no debate on this. The world definitely needs more people to be kind. This behavior certainly begins at home.

4. Model inclusive behavior: Children learn by example, so it is important to model inclusive behavior. This means treating everyone with kindness and respect and being open to learning about different cultures and perspectives. We can’t play dual lives where on the one hand we treat people with judgments and unfairness and expect future world citizens I.e. our children to be better individuals than us.

5. Break the biases: Do gender biased notions come from behavior that our kids are seeing around them in the home environment. Are women still seen as caregivers/cooks? Will Alexa and Siri continue to subtly ply the message that a woman (voice) will hear your command and act on it? Hard hitting if you think about it, isn’t it?

6. Talk to them about discrimination: It is important to talk to children about discrimination and how it can hurt people. This will help them understand the importance of being inclusive and standing up against discrimination. Equip them with mechanisms to deal with bullying and unkind behavior and, most importantly, not shy away from taking a stand and backing their friends when attacked. The “My what goes?” (Mera kya Jaata hai) attitude has killed far more spirits than war, I am sure!

In conclusion, helping children be more inclusive is important for creating a more accepting and diverse society. By teaching children about different cultures, encouraging them to make friends with people who are different from them, teaching them to be kind and respectful, modeling inclusive behavior, and talking to them about discrimination, we can help create a more inclusive world for everyone.

I quite enjoyed writing this post today. And it comes from the heart. As a follow up, I’ll write about some more practical ways to build inclusivity. Do come back for more. ????

The morning run

I’ve never been a morning person. Early morning school when I was a kid was a nightmare. Even as a grown up, I found that I was at my best in the evenings. My energy levels suddenly went up, I had blazes of creativity (like now at 11 pm) and work would be great quality and super quickly, especially if it involved creative writing (like now, at 11 pm)

Even when we had babyT, he was never the one who would rise and shine at the Crack of dawn. Both of us would lay in, till the sun warmed our cheeks and crinkled our eyes. I would slink away from the bed and he would follow in no less than 10 minutes. Somehow, they know when you’re bodily warmth slips away from them.

So this past year when Tasmai started full-time & in person school I knew my days of that late morning start were over. Kaput, vanished into thin air just like that. Now I would have to wake up even before the sun had risen to cook up 2 meals, a snack and a treat. It gave me the shudders.

But wake up I did. Cook up elaborate meals I did. I mean freshly made pesto for pasta. Who was this woman? Salad, roti sabji, Dal rice – a full thali meal? In fact the teacher sent home a note saying, can you tone down the elaborate meals you send T, as he struggles to finish it in time. Oops!

How? I don’t know! Has my wiring changed? Have my poles interchanged? Not at all. I’m still the night owl that i am. Awake after all the lights are out. I now survive on very little sleep on weekdays. Weekends are the time to lie in.

Question to be asked is why? And it’s not as simple as just love for my child. Well mostly it is. But it’s also purely practical – T cannot consume food outside until all eating places became more conscious of food allergies and started learning that dairy free needs to be a thing. And food for kids needs to rise above cheese and butter, the so called nutrient powerhouses. That or T has grown up enough to understand the ingredients that go into cooking the meal and asking pointed questions. “Yes this is vegetarian but does it have milk cream or butter?”

Utopia is still far away, but until then, I shall wake at 530. I shall waft sleepily to the kitchen. I shall rack my brain to think of creative ways to make fun meals, and I shall wait for the weekend to laze in bed till the sun warms our cheeks. Good night!

Crash, Bang, Snip – when toddlers destroy

Do you remember the time my toddler destroyed my laptop, right at the onset of a month long blogging challenge earlier this year? Well, when I look back now I can smile, because I persisted and finished the challenge. But back then, that kind of destructive behavior in kids, signaled the end of my world, my dreams and aspirations. I thought I had learnt an important lesson that night, but NO! Yesterday, he did something which broke my stupid heart once again and sent all my emotions helter-skelter. 

Snip Snip… Snap

My son’s latest obsession are scissors. No matter how hard I try to hide the adult scissors from the kitchen or craft set away from him, he manages to find a pair. He runs around with them, menacingly, snipping papers, loose threads, flowers, leaves and my memories. The pleasure he derives from cutting things off.. that creak of the screw holding the two blades together and the ensuing slight clink of the steel is very evidently satisfying to him. I see it!

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Top 5 family favourite Marathi series on television

Living in a Marathi household ever since my marriage, I have been exposed to many Marathi serials. In fact, it was one of the ways how I picked up the Marathi language so fast. And today when anyone hears me speak Marathi, they are surprised that it is a second language for me. I am quite proud of this accomplishment, all thanks to Marathi serials.

I wanted to share about some really amazing Marathi series on TV right now which are lighting up the televisions in millions of Marathi homes. Continue reading

Gulabjaam – a mouthwatering movie not to miss

My love for food is well known in social circles. And to top that I married into a community who also love their food. In our house, the most common discussion is “Aaj jevaila kai karaicha?” Marathi for “What should we cook today?” We think of food in our waking moments and in slumber mode too. And the icing on the cake or the Kesar on our gulab jamun is that we don’t just love to eat, we love to cook it. So when people called us, all out of the blue, and said “You guys must watch this Marathi film called Gulabjaam” we knew we shouldn’t miss it for the world. Continue reading

A 1000 days of me

Hi there, It’s not really my birthday today. But it is the 1000th day of my life in the real world, outside my mommy’s tummy. And that calls for a celebration. Well, at least my mom thinks so! And I’m just going with it. After all, who can say no to a celebration with balloons, gifts and pampering? So while my mom stays up late at night and blows air into those very balloons, I thought I’d pen down a letter, to all those who think it would be interesting to hear a baby (my mom refuses to call me a toddler still) share his thoughts on what it is like to be a 1000 days young. A 1000 days is a long time and I have already been through a lot. I am a curious little man and I love to talk all day long, so why not review this interesting life I’ve led till now.

So, here goes…

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