Once we become mothers ourselves something inside us suddenly lights up, almost like a bulb. And we realise how much our own (mother) parents must have done for us – bearing us, carrying us for 9 months and then for a lifetime. A deep respect for all the sleepless nights and days full of worry and anxiety arrives and with it a realization that ‘Mom was always right.’
For as long as I can remember, my mom has been constantly telling me ‘you will realise this only after you become a mother yourself.’ And I also remember laughing at this statement of hers and responding with ‘I’m never going to be that kind of mom.’ Oh, but how wrong I was, because turns out I am absolutely that kind of a mom.
Out of the many gems that my mom passed on to me, my most cherished ones are the ones she told me about self-care. Since my theme for 2018 is all about SELFHOOD this seems like the perfect topic to share all those instances where my mom was right.
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Sleep on time, Wake up early
I have always been a night owl. Even when I was in primary school I could stay up late until any hour. But ask me to wake up early in the morning and it would be the most painful thing for anyone who was trying that Herculean task. My mother tried very hard to imbibe this habit in me, with all due credit to her. I, the stubborn pest, never mastered it. If I do ever wake up early it is accompanied by migraines, hyperacidity and a general crabbiness.
But now that I am a mother, sleep is a distant memory and with it waking up early. It is almost noon by the time I wake up and thanks or no thanks, I have a baby doesn’t wake up early either. But now with school on the horizon, I have chills down my spine thinking of how both babyT and I are ever going to make it in time. Do you know of any schools which begin at noon? 😉
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Take your vitamins
Oh, for all my aches, pains and general malaise, why didn’t I listen to this one? Now firstly I had a baby when I was well into my 30s and that means his toddlerhood is arriving right when I am approaching my 40s. And trust me my body is not up for all this exercise. I am getting OLD. There I said it and I ain’t ashamed of it. But I am ashamed of how forgetful I am getting too. Every day I resolve to take my vitamins after my dinner, and every evening those grey cells seem to have perished. “Mom, I should have heeded your advice on this.”
- Clean up your room
Do you have a baby? Have you seen the amount of clutter that comes with a baby? Not just books and toys but rocks, pebbles, PlayDoh (who invented this monstrosity, I’ll have his head?) and now there’s even slime (ugh!!) And babies want to play with ALL their toys every day. My attempts at arranging the toy shelf and hiding some stuff away for next week have been futile. My smart baby has figured out all my hiding places and now there are toys all over the house.
I now realise how much my mess would have irked my mother and all I can say is “Mom you were right!”
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Never miss breakfast, eat your daily fruits & finish those greens
I used to think that I would be that cool mom who would never stress about my baby being a fussy eater. I had big theories of how it was every living being’s basic need to eventually give in to hunger and eat whatever was on their plate. But when my own baby refused to eat the yummy breakfast that I toiled over I tend to panic and think of a million and one fancy dishes that will lure him to try just one more morsel of that treat. Alas, babies have their own mind and it is placed somewhere in their stomach I think because the amount of effort I put into making up something appetising is inversely related to the probability that he will eat it.
I skipped most of the breakfasts in my growing up years. While I did turn out ok, I know I just cannot come to terms with food left untouched on babyT’s plate. “Mom can I have some of the patience you seemed to have when I didn’t eat what you made for us every day.”
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Lower your voice, don’t shout & mind your tone
“Mom I’m really sorry (more for myself) that I didn’t listen to you on this count.” Babies learn from imitation & I am learning the hard way to choose my words, language, tone & emotion. There have been countless times already when babyT says something and I can relate it to something I said to him. I may not have said it to him, but I know now he’s listening and learning from me. A big “My Mom was Right” moment. And a call to immediate action for me.
This post is a part of a blog train organised by Elina of MomFunda where20 Indian moms together write on about how their mothers were right! Read Elina’s take on this here.
Also, do check this blog post on the same topic by Pradnya who blogs at Mummying Ain’t Easy
What were some of the words of wisdom by your mom which make you say “Yes Mom you were right!”
Very true !!! I truly agree with the same… With all the views mentioned….coz it’s only when we become mother’s we realise what and how we behaved with our moms…
Just to add to it… One needs to tell one’s own child that mumma loves him / her loads with a big hug everyday..so that when we get old..one gets it back from our own children…coz that public display of affection would be highly required and appreciated by them..
Thanks for reading Naila. Unconditional love is what we should show our children for sure
This is something every woman realises once she becomes a mom herself. I seem to be telling the same things to my daughter which my mother said to me when I was in school. 🙂
So true! Now that I have a little one I always think about things my mom told me – ‘you will realise this only after you become a mother yourself.’
Oh wow so well written Tara I resonated with not getting up early bit the most haha… Only in my case my toddler is up at 645 on weekends and. I’m forever sleep deprived but I guess sleep is an elusive property.
We have Mama. You were right moments every day I guess.. They only strive to make me work on my weaknesses.
I can relate to each and every word you have written. But I am a little not particular about mess and cleanliness, so that’s one place where I do not realte to with my mom. Cleanliness can actually wait, let my kids grow up
I agree to all your points. I think now we realise all these when we are mothers ourselves ?
I so agree to this. You have to start setting examples for your kids at a young age for them to follow. I often catch myself repeating my mother’s dialogues to me.
I also think my mom was right on many things but I’ll never admit it ?
YES! This is so true.. My mom ALWAYS used to say that to my siblings and I and I never really fully understood it until I became a mom.. Now I have so many moments when I think to myself “well, mom was right about this!”
This is so true! I remember thinking the same thing after my son was born
Kylie
http://www.confidentlykylie.com
This really made me laugh, this is just like my life! And I have two little guys to chase after!
I remember my mom saying don’t yell, and sure enough, sometimes I find myself yelliing. Not often though.