Mommying BabyT

Mommy T's adventures; bringing up Baby T

Category: Women Stuff (page 2 of 2)

Great things happen when women support each other: Being a woman in India in 2017

I am in a happy place in life right now. Everything in my life is surely not perfect, but I am happy. As I sat down to write about this topic I realised that I am lucky indeed to be living the life I am right now. I am a woman in 2017 who is living life on her own terms. It may not be a bed of roses, but this is my happy place and I revel in it. It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Harneet Khurana for setting the stage for me. I loved her blog Sublime Messages on the prompt for today which is Being a Woman in India in 2017.  Continue reading

MomsCo – Pamper time for Moms

Raise your hand if the moment you discovered you were pregnant you decided that you would do everything possible to care for and protect the little bean slowly growing inside you. And now raise your other hand if you suddenly found that none of the bath and body products you were using felt safe or natural to be used during pregnancy. Hey you look a little silly with both your hands up. You can relax and let me tell you about these wonderful company which makes great products. Its called The MomsCo and its one of the first Indian companies which makes bath and body products for Moms to be and new moms. Continue reading

Review: Matrika’s Creative Woman’s Journal – Write

When a fellow mommy in our Mom Blogger Chatter group told us about the Matrika’s Creative Woman’s Journal review contest I was intrigued. What a lovely way to market a product? But that was not all there was to it. The journals themselves were breathtakingly beautiful. I was truly spoiled for choice to select one, but finally settled on the Write series. The deep red colour with the golden polka dots and the feather plume on the cover page felt like the right choice for me and my new avatar as a blogger. Continue reading

World Environment Day – 5 ways you can make a difference

5th June marks World Environment Day and like most people I do stop to ponder about the impact my actions & living choice have on the world & its environment.  World Environment Day is not a hallmark holiday. It is a very important and grave part of our modern lives today.  We need to talk more about the Environment and the legacy we leave behind. The old Indian saying which has been quoted far too many times, rings loudly in my ears…

“We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children”

Before I had #BabyT I would roll my eyes at those tree hugger type of people who would advocate save trees, go green, save water and all of it was mumbo-jumbo to me. I mean how does just one plastic bag I use make a difference? Right?

Turns out I was wrong. When they put that shriveled up & pink little dumpling in my arms I was transformed. I vowed to do everything to protect him and bring him up as a good human being in a better world than you and I know today. A cleaner, greener, healthier world. And so I joined the “Hippy bandwagon” – the term hurts me sometimes, but this is what some people now refer to me as. A hippy. But the hippies are a cool lot, they spread love and harmony and did a lot for the world that they graced their brief lives with. 

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10 Things I Miss about being Pregnant

Sundays are reserved for cleaning and tidying up and when I was doing that I chanced upon a diary from 2015. A quick glance landed me on the page for 25th April 2015. The words written on it tugged at my heart strings…

“So it begins.. we are pregnant”

This was the day in 2015, when our lab technician called me to tell me about the HcG blood test report we did. I didn’t understand the values she rattled off and asked her what does it mean.. and I still remember her little laugh and her saying “Congratulations!” (oops, I’m have a lump in my throat here.)

It got me reminiscing about that beautiful year in my life. After a lot of bad years, missed chances, depression, failures & tears, and almost giving up, we had 2015. The year of our pregnancy!

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This Women’s Day can we not…

This Women’s Day can we judge a little less and accept a little more?

After spending close to a decade in corporate HR, and being forced to organize employee engagement activities, most festivals and “days” have become another tick mark on the to-do list for me. I still have very fresh memories of my last organization where Women’s Day would mean we would plan elaborate surprises for all our women team members and even get each one a gift. Exhausting really, but satisfying and fun.

Over the years and bring on one year of mommyhood, I have come to realize that women are indeed such complex creatures. And truly it is the women who can make or mar another woman. I really did not want to make a post on Women’s day with a negative sense to it, but I have just come off a Facebook support group for mothers, where a poor new mommy has poured out her soul about how everyone right from her best friend, to her MIL (sigh), to her maid question and ridicule her choices. No it doesn’t end there, I even saw some respondents on the group tell her to ‘man up’ and ‘bear it.’

This got me thinking as to why is it that women are their own worst enemies? Why do women constantly pull each other down? Why do women fall into the trap of transferring their own life’s miseries onto the younger lot? Why don’t women just accept and not judge size/ shape/ colour/ length/ breadth/ personalities/ upbringing? I have NEVER seen a man do all this to other men.  Some men do make women’s lives miserable, but no, they will never do that to their own tribe folk – other men. Nope. Then why do women?

I have been guilty of it too.. Oh no, I have not come here at 100 am to say I am perfect. Far from it. I enjoy a good gossip session with my girlies as much as that couch on Koffee with Karan. I have vivid memories of college life, where my gang of girls and I would judge almost every girl for what she wore and how she behaved.  I am appalled now, really head in hands kind of appalled.

So why do women do it? Is it pure biology – you know the mating game and survival of the fittest, evolution and all that? Possibly. Somethings are genetically hardwired and there’s little you can do to change that. Heck, research shows that women become fiercely competitive and vengeful when they are ovulating. (It is always the periods fault isn’t it?) But ideally, evolved brains, the power of knowledge and social maturity should weigh over whatever pull comes from the genes, no?

A large part is also to do with centuries of living under patriarchal terms… if a woman’s worth comes from her man be it father/ husband or son (picturing a MIL making sure her new DIL is serving her husband well) then for sure women will see each other as competition and try their best to bring that threat down. Women are forever trying to fit into norms about looks and conduct, which have been culturally and socially ingrained in us. We don’t really stop to think and ask why should I be that way? But we just continue to blindly follow some invisible code and when we do that it stresses us, puts pressure on us. And when that happens we look for the nearest weakling to transfer our stressors on to. Read: The MIL who was tortured by her own MIL, now makes sure the newly wed daughter in law is having a hard time too. It is so easy to rip apart another woman’s soul than to look within and see her for what she is or hell, just let her be and do her own thing.

And then there is the woman who is smarter, brighter, more beautiful and more everything nice. Yes more than you. And what do you do? Judge her. Judge her looks – “oh layers and layers of makeup. Or hey even a nose job maybe?”, Judge her brains – “She is just a pretty face”,  judge her success – “Oh we all know how she got there.” Yes, we especially love to pull such women down. What ensues is a full on catfight or a totally destroyed woman on the other end? I personally have been at the receiving end of that. Its horrible ladies, its black and its scary what this judgement does to the judged. Just stop.

This is why I am in awe of those women who facilitated and did wonderful things for other women – Women centric organizations, online support groups, non-profit networks, coaches, teachers, family and friends. If you have been at the receiving end of a happy, generous and encouraging woman (don’t count your mom. She’ll do it selflessly. 🙂 ) count your blessings. Firstly, it is rare and secondly, maybe it bodes well for a brighter future.

So this Women’s Day, this exHR specialist isn’t giving you some ol’ fun and games, but wishing ardently that we love more, accept more, understand more and give a better experience to fellow women than we ourselves may have encountered. Because great things happen when we women stand up for each other. And the world better watch out!

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