Mommy T's adventures; bringing up Baby T

Tag: parenting (Page 1 of 2)

Building inclusion from the home

As the debate on same sex marriages rages in the Indian courts, it’s not just the nation but the world that watches with baited breath, on what the outcome and the aftereffects are going to be. But more than this, what is really evident is that the world is a truly diverse place, and every individual has a right to live a life of dignity and safety, experience love, and joy. What role then can we as parents play in ensuring that our children who will come in to this world a decade or two down the line, don’t have to fight for basic rights but will thrive where there is mutual respect and love?! This thought plays in my mind every time I watch or read the news these days. Moving into a role at work that focuses on diversity, equity, and inclusion has only made this a more pressing need for our family – how can we raise our child to be more inclusive?

Here are some ways you can help children be more inclusive:

1. Teach them about different cultures: Children should be taught about different cultures and traditions from a young age. This will help them understand and appreciate the differences between people. Truth be spoken India is a very diverse nation, isn’t it every 50 kilometers that we get to experience a different dialect, food habits and traditions? But experience shows that we are not as tolerant as that. Judgments based on caste, coloyr, backgrounds, religion, and so much more divide us. Is it because we are made to only see ourselves as superior and reject every other reality out there? It baffles me sometimes. But judgemental we are for sure. How about we be more open and revel in our variety instead? Let our children see that diversity is to be celebrated, not resisted.

2. Encourage them to make friends with people who are different from them: Encourage your child to make friends with people who are different from them. This will help them learn about different cultures and perspectives. Thanks to the cosmopolitan society most of us live in, we do get to experience social relationships with people from different categories. But look deeper – how many Muslim people do you work with? Or live in the same apartment complex as you? Have you heard of landlords rejecting renters who are single, Trans individuals, or Muslims? I’ve heard of it much too often and moreover because of the role I play in my organization. Let’s look at the behaviors we model and allow our children to observe and be better people themselves.

3. Teach them to be kind and respectful: Children should be taught to be kind and respectful to everyone, regardless of their differences. This includes being respectful of people’s beliefs, cultures, and backgrounds. There is no debate on this. The world definitely needs more people to be kind. This behavior certainly begins at home.

4. Model inclusive behavior: Children learn by example, so it is important to model inclusive behavior. This means treating everyone with kindness and respect and being open to learning about different cultures and perspectives. We can’t play dual lives where on the one hand we treat people with judgments and unfairness and expect future world citizens I.e. our children to be better individuals than us.

5. Break the biases: Do gender biased notions come from behavior that our kids are seeing around them in the home environment. Are women still seen as caregivers/cooks? Will Alexa and Siri continue to subtly ply the message that a woman (voice) will hear your command and act on it? Hard hitting if you think about it, isn’t it?

6. Talk to them about discrimination: It is important to talk to children about discrimination and how it can hurt people. This will help them understand the importance of being inclusive and standing up against discrimination. Equip them with mechanisms to deal with bullying and unkind behavior and, most importantly, not shy away from taking a stand and backing their friends when attacked. The “My what goes?” (Mera kya Jaata hai) attitude has killed far more spirits than war, I am sure!

In conclusion, helping children be more inclusive is important for creating a more accepting and diverse society. By teaching children about different cultures, encouraging them to make friends with people who are different from them, teaching them to be kind and respectful, modeling inclusive behavior, and talking to them about discrimination, we can help create a more inclusive world for everyone.

I quite enjoyed writing this post today. And it comes from the heart. As a follow up, I’ll write about some more practical ways to build inclusivity. Do come back for more. ????

Zero screen time Vs Mom’s sanity

There was a whole generation of babies that was raised on screens. Screens while they ate, dozed off and played. Then came a time when it was uncool to shove a screen in front of a baby. Zero screen time was the order given. Research papers proved how screen time was damaging not just our children’s eyes but their brains too. But is a zero screen time feasible at all in a world which is becoming increasingly online? Does it not put immense pressure on the parent to “entertain” their child themselves without relying on technology? Is it really a positive thing to do in a world where technology is everywhere? What happens when the parent needs a break badly.. even if it is just to have a quick shower? Is it bad to rely on technology then?

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Yell free parenting

Yelling. It is so common for parents to subject their children to yelling. And then one day start receiving it all back in return, until all you hear are yelling matches in the house and no one is winning. I think we will all agree that yelling is unhealthy and best avoidable. No parent enters their parenting journey wanting to yell. But somewhere along the way it just happens. And then there is no turning the clock back to a time when there was no yelling. But like everything else, yelling does not have to be the point of no return. With conscious “no yelling” and consistent practice, yelling can be relegated to a place from where it will never return. Continue reading

Unconditional parenting: is that your style?

“If you score above X0% in your final exams, I will buy you a bicycle.”, “You behaved badly, now mumma won’t talk to you anymore.” Have you ever heard or said these statement? I heard it being said to a child and it kind of confused me. Firstly are you trying to send a message to your child that while all his friends peddle away in the park, he will have to earn the right to have his own bicycle? Secondly, is it not the child’s responsibility to make sure he fared well in school and to the best of his ability? What message was the adult sending to the child – that everything in life is either a reward – a brand new bike; or a punishment – no bike? Does a child have to constantly behave in a manner so as to make you love him? I made up my mind in that moment that when it comes to my child I will be unconditional. He will see reason in order to learn the big stuff in life.

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Questions welcome – ask me anything

Why is the sky blue? Why doesn’t the doggy wear a diaper? Why do we do potty? Where does the water in the washbasin go? And the most famous one – Are we there yet? Thankfully babyT is still a little too young to ask that last question. But hey, did you even attempt to mentally answer these questions? Did you seek the right answers full of logic? Then you are wrong my dear friend! Parenting is all about finding innovative answers to the many questions your children will ask you, because the same questions will be asked to you a million times over. Sadly most parents lose their nerve when their children ask them questions. Half hearted attempts to answer turn to frustration and soon enough the child learns to not ask, not learn and not be curious. You see asking questions is a very healthy habit and you, the parent must encourage it. It’s not just learning the facts and information, it is a lot more than that.

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Positive parenting – nurturing parent-child relationships

At a time, not so long ago, parenting was about being the leader, absolute authority and disciplinarian. Today we see a very different version of this. Look around you, parents are asking their children for their choices and preferences. They are handling difficult situations much like they would mediate adult conflicts. They are setting goals and providing opportunities to their children much like how it happens in the corporate world. Have parents today gone nuts and living in some crazy bubble? Or are these techniques showing positive results on the development of the child? Positive parenting is seeming to raise happy, healthy kids and showing similar results on the parents too. Continue reading

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