“If you score above X0% in your final exams, I will buy you a bicycle.”, “You behaved badly, now mumma won’t talk to you anymore.” Have you ever heard or said these statement? I heard it being said to a child and it kind of confused me. Firstly are you trying to send a message to your child that while all his friends peddle away in the park, he will have to earn the right to have his own bicycle? Secondly, is it not the child’s responsibility to make sure he fared well in school and to the best of his ability? What message was the adult sending to the child – that everything in life is either a reward – a brand new bike; or a punishment – no bike? Does a child have to constantly behave in a manner so as to make you love him? I made up my mind in that moment that when it comes to my child I will be unconditional. He will see reason in order to learn the big stuff in life.

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