Mommying BabyT

Mommy T's adventures; bringing up Baby T

Xennial Mom – kind of stuck in the middle

In my circle of mommy friends, I am perhaps one of the oldest. Sometimes I feel like an old fogey and cannot make any sense of what the mommies are talking about. Other times I feel like the enlightened one who has had the privilege of seeing a few more (or decades) of summer than the gang. For the longest time I felt trapped and did not know if I was part of this cool gang. Nor did I feel comfortable with the older lot of mommies whose children were finishing school and exiting their teens. I thought something was wrong with me. Then I discovered I was not the only one.

1979. This was the problem. It was not me or you. It was the damn year that I was born in. You see the period of time just after Gen X ended and before the Millennial generation began is where the lot of us were born. Our time was very different to the one that our parents were born and raised in, yet not completely similar to the one the millennials were thriving in. We had the best of both periods, yet we felt like we belonged to neither.

We have a name too

Yes, suddenly I feel like it all makes sense. And my lot have been given a title. We are the Xennials.

Xennials were born between the years 1977 to 1983. Yep that’s me. We were born in the era when it was still cool to have no colour TVs, no internet, no email IDs. We listened to the radio. Series like Chitrahar and Geetmala were the hippest thing on air.

We played in the mud, scraped our knees and came home to nothing more than a scolding and perhaps a clean up with water and cotton. Ain’t nobody fussing over a Xennial baby (back then I mean.)

Our parents didn’t do any research (there was no internet remember.) Most of us were left in daycare or creches like the one I was sent to. My mother worked hard out of home to give us the best they could. WE budgeted but still went on international holidays (thank you daddy who worked in aviation) and was the coolest kid on the block for all the stationery I got from foren (Indian for abroad/ foreign countries)

Today, looking back I am an ardent fan of Star Wars (the original series which is pride and joy of the Gen Xers) I know a few words in Wookie. But I also watch Game of Thrones – all you millennials, hear this, we agree that Jon Snow knows nothing. 

Dawn of technology – Remember A/S/L 

We Xennials also saw the entry of the colour TV, cable and satellite.. we were there when they plugged those devices in. We weren’t just born into  a house which already had those. We were there, yo!!

Dial up internet. It still manages to give me happy goosebumps. The sound of the landline, buzzing, whirring, screeching is like music to my ears. A/S/L we asked. Do you even know what that means?

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And wait for it because this is legendary.. we acquired those box type mobile phones when they first hit the market, but we weren’t watching babyTV on it. We were already in our 20s by now. And mature enough to learn the ropes quickly, unlike our parents, some of who still struggle with mobiles.

But, we Xennials don’t do Snapchat. We draw the line there. I figured out Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Ab bas! You can’t tempt me with doggy faces. Not appealing at all.

Unlike the ever cynical generation of our parents (I mean my generation’s parents) and the over-carefree attitude of the millennials, we Xennials display cautious optimism. Entitled is not a feeling we will ever have.

Want to know if you have a Xennial heart? 

  • You made mix tapes and listened to them on the cassette player

  • You went from WalkMan to DiscMan – portable CD player and then were around when these went obsolete too

  • You rushed back from college to dial-up internet and spent hours chatting up strangers from around the world in “Chat rooms” on Yahoo!Chat, ICQ and MSN messenger. Want to know what ASL is?

  • Your first email was on Hotmail and you still secretly use it for some subscriptions online

  • You were there when Michael Jackson released Thriller & Bad

  • You also loved BritPop. Oasis and Blur were your favourite bands. ParkLife was your fav song. You secretly adore the Spice Girls and shimmy to Tell me what you want.

  • Jurassic Park was the biggest and most technologically advanced film of your era and it was released when you were old enough to watch English films. Lol

  • Your first phone was a Nokia or Motorola

  • You felt like you were the most important person on planet Earth when someone sent you an exclusive invite to own a GMail account. Yep, sad one, I know. But I assure you it was big back then

Wait, I forget this is a parenting blog…

So does being a Xennial have an impact on how I choose to parent my child? In some ways yes.

Research online tells me that being a Xennial mom means,

  • I let my child play outside, in the mud and let him get dirty. Sometimes he eats mud and that’s ok. It will only strengthen his immune system.

  • I am more open to gender neutral norms – I am ok to let him wear nail polish, but only on his toes, because children don’t wear nail polish to school. Rules exist too.

  • Dad has an equal role to play in the parenting game too

  • I read a lot of parenting theories and research. Fact based parenting is what I am all in for. But at the same time I do not shun the age old advice and dadima ke nuskey (grandma’s home remedies)

  • I believe in co-sleeping and attachment parenting, but I am more than willing to let my child stay at grandma’s every weekend. I have a life and work to do too. He also needs to know that mommy love me but I need to stay at grandma’s this weekend.

  • I quit my high paying job in order to have a child. Now that I have a child I still haven’t gone back to work, but am finding ways to earn my self-worth and some money from home.

  • I believe in all the goodness of coconut oil and this was before the new age mumbo-jumbo made it cool.

  • I am not a control freak about who my kid talks to, what his teacher said to him, why his photo on the school website has him in the absolute back row, why he got chosen to be the mouse in the school play. It is ok. It will not scar him for life.

  • I don’t care that my child still does not know his ABC or 123. He is only 2. He has a lifetime to learn all the things he wishes to.

While listing these I realise that these are not relegated to only the Xennial generation. These are just good parenting to-dos. And even if you don’t, you probably some other principles which work well for you, your family and your child. Different doesn’t mean bad or incorrect. It just means that you are the best parent that you could ever be.

I owe a lot to my Gen X parents’ generation who taught me all the ropes about this parenting thing. And I love my Millennial mommies who keep me high spirited, charged and push me to go one step ahead.

This blog post is part of a series for the #AtoZBloggingChallenge where my theme is
New Age Parenting: Parenting in 201x.
Read my theme reveal post here.

To read all the posts for the #AtoZChallenge go here – #AtoZ2018


  1. Oh wow Tara !! I feel so relieved after reading your post. You make Xennial parents cool too!! Otherwise sometimes I feel lost & old when I am amongst new mums these days. We indeed got the best of both. We are the generation who have embraced change whole heartedly. We are the ones who are always open to learn the new age parenting principles & theories. We even employ them while raising our kids. But we also have faith in the manner we were raised by our parents. The points you shared on being Xennials are amazing. I just went back memory lane and was grinning and nodding in affirmation. Loved this post. Though there were many well researched and useful posts in the series and I loved them all. This is by far my most favourite one.

    • mommyingbabyt

      April 27, 2018 at 6:00 pm

      True true Aesha. I feel the same way many times. And to be honest I did not know why this was until i started reading up for this post on Xennials. It felt like an epiphany.

  2. I am a proud Xennial too. We have done it all Vikram vetaal, friends, and game of thrones. Ah! I have yet to meet someone who does watch GOT, so that finally I can crack GOT jokes. Enjoyed this one the mots, your best post in the challenge.

  3. I am a baby boomer. My children are millenials. I think you have the best of both worlds.
    p.s. I agree 100% with your rules for raising children.

  4. I am a Xenial too!! 🙂 I never felt like a Millennial…though some people would categorise me as one. This is so cool. Thanks for writing this!

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